Sunday, 18 December 2011

The Masked AMHP’s™ Essential Christmas Merchandise!

Now's your chance to stock up with the Masked AMHP’s™ Essential Merchandise!

Your AMHP colleagues will be delighted to find one (or more) of these essential items in their stocking this Christmas!

The Masked AMHP™ MHA Tee Shirts

Never go out on a Mental Health Act assessment without wearing one of The Masked AMHP’s ™ MHA Tee Shirts! They are designed to save valuable time explaining the reasons for two doctors and an AMHP turning up at the patient’s door!

There are two stylish and useful versions:
The Politically Correct MHA Tee Shirt
The Politically Incorrect MHA Tee Shirt

For when you’re in a real hurry!

The Masked AMHP™ Magic Wand

No more long waits for a hospital bed, the police or an ambulance! Simply wave The Masked AMHP™ Magic Wand, make a wish, and whatever you require will magically materialise! (Warning: if an ambulance is still in use after midnight, it is likely to turn into a pumpkin.)

The Masked AMHP™ Telepathic Section Papers

With The Masked AMHP™ Telepathic Section Papers you no longer need to worry about filling in the details correctly! When you give the papers in to the MHA Administrator, they will see exactly what they want to see!
The Masked AMHP™ Inflatable Sec.12 Doctor
Ever found yourself going down your list with increasing desperation trying to find a Sec.12 doctor for your Mental Health Act assessment? With the Masked AMHP™ Inflatable Section 12 Doctor, such worries will be a thing of the past! Comes with realistic looking stethoscope and white coat for added authenticity! The Deluxe version speaks 3 useful phrases: “Tell me, how long have you been hearing voices?”, “I think you ought to go into hospital,” and “Have you got an expenses form?” – just like the real thing! When not in use, stows easily in your glove compartment!

Buy one and get a second for exactly the same price!
Anatomically correct! (Contains small parts)


  1. I once submitted an order form to our procurement team asking for a Crystal Ball. Apparently I was the only one who thought it was funny.

    I will take the magic wand please. Does it come in pink? And do you do a discount for other public sector areas?

  2. Hahaha, that's the funniest thing i've seen in a while. Asking procurement for any number of future-telling devices is always amusing, although ordering a sense of humour is often frowned upon... :)

  3. Can you do some inflatable wards as well please. In Bristol suicides and people in crisis on the up, mental health trust stradedgy close all the acute wards