If The Masked AMHP Had a World Cup Commentary

Fabio:              Well, here we are on a fine day, not a cloud in the sky. The Masked AMHP’s sitting at his desk in the AMHP Office, chewing at the bit to take a referral. It’s a quiet day so far, isn’t it, Adrian, but who knows what could be just around the corner?

Adrian:            That’s right, Fabio, but look! Just as he’s settling back to read the paper –

Fabio:              It looks like the Guardian to me, Adrian –

Adrian:             I believe you’re correct there, Fabio – but The Masked AMHP’s  mobile’s now ringing, he’s picking it up – and he’s taking notes!

Fabio:              Just look at the skill there! He’s asking pertinent questions at the same time as he’s madly scribbling on his notepad! What a consummate professional!

Adrian:            And just look at the ease with which he writes down all the salient details! From here it looks like it’s a referral from the Home Treatment Team. It’s for a woman in her 40’s called Dolores, with a long history of schizophrenia, who’s been refusing her depot injection. Home Treatment have been trying to persuade her to take oral medication –

Fabio:              Looks like Quetiapine to me –

Adrian:            I do believe you’re correct there, Fabio. Hard to tell, The Masked AMHP’s handwriting leaves something to be desired!

Fabio:              No-one’s perfect, not even The Masked AMHP!

Adrian:            Never a truer word, Fabio, never a truer word. Anyway, she’s refusing that too, and becoming increasingly psychotic!

Fabio:              Looks like The Masked AMHP’s going to have to go out on this one, Adrian!

Adrian:            You’re right there, Fabio! And just look at that! A quick browse through his contact list and he’s got two Sec.12 doctors on board! What a mover!

Fabio:              That was a bit of luck there.

Adrian:            Luck’s got nothing to do with it! The Masked AMHP knows all the Sec.12 doctors who’re wanting to build swimming pools or saving up for a BMW 7 Series.

Fabio:              And they’ll never turn down a chance for a quick 170 quid.

Adrian:            You’re not wrong there, Fabio.

Fabio:              That’s all well and good, but what about a bed? He’s ringing the bed managers, but he doesn’t look like a happy bunny!

Adrian:            He’s muttering something about the nearest bed being in Harrogate!

Fabio:              Phew! That’s 300 miles away! He won’t get the local ambulance service to transport a patient there!

Adrian:            He’ll have to get a private ambulance for that little job.

Fabio:              The Masked AMHP’s Trust must have deep pockets, Adrian.

Adrian:            Either that, or they’ve got no common sense.

Fabio:              A bit close to the knuckle there, Adrian.

Adrian:            But seriously, doesn’t this put paid to any Mental Health Act action today? There’s no point in going out to assess if there’s no bed, surely?

Fabio:              Au contraire, Adrian. The Masked AMHP’s legally bound to make an assessment. And don’t call me Shirley.

*   *   *

Adrian:            Well here we are outside the patient’s house. Nice little suburb, by the look of it – but look at that! There’s a broken window, and the TV’s out on the front lawn! Doesn’t look good to me, Fabio!

Fabio:              But ever the professional, The Masked AMHP’s calmly sitting it out, waiting for the doctors to arrive.

Adrian:            Perhaps we can turn to our guest expert in the studio for an opinion. Tell me, Richard, what do you think he’ll go for here? Section 2 or Section 3?

Richard Jones: (For it is he) Of course, we mustn’t jump the gun. An AMHP will always have to consider the least restrictive option before resorting to a formal application under the Mental Health Act. But as a rule of thumb – Section 2 if you don’t know the patient, or there’s been a significant change in presentation requiring a fresh assessment, and Section 3 if the patient is known and the appropriate treatment has been decided. But I’d probably tend to favour a Section 2 if the patient’s in the community, especially in these circumstances. Of course, the new Draft Code –

Adrian:            Thanks for that Richard – but look at what’s going on! The doctors have arrived, they’ve all had a bit of a chinwag in The Masked AMHP’s car, and now they’re going to the front door!

Fabio:              What are the odds on The Masked AMHP getting through the door, do you suppose, Adrian?

Adrian:            Well, judging from past performance, he can be a nifty little mover in a tight spot.

Fabio:              There’s Dolores, she’s opened the door – and The Masked AMHP is engaging her in conversation!

Adrian:            And look at that – foot in the door, stepping forward – and they’re in!

Fabio:              Amazing bit of footwork from old Masky there.

Adrian:            Now they’re in, he’s telling her the purpose of the visit.

Fabio:              Ever the professional. Oh and look! She’s asked him for his ID and he’s showing her his card!

Adrian:            Is that a yellow card, Fabio?

Fabio:              No, it’s just a trick of the light.

Adrian:            Well, Dolores is cooperating with the assessment so far, she’s even telling them about the voices she’s been hearing telling her not to take her medication!

Fabio:              It’s going smoothly so far, but it could still be an early bath for The Masked AMHP.

Adrian:            Well I didn’t expect that! She’s saying she’ll agree to an informal admission! Isn’t that offside?

Fabio:              Don’t get me started, Adrian!

Adrian:            Well they’ve concluded the assessment – now it’s decision time. What do you think Richard – Section 2, Section 3, or – Oh, and they’ve gone with the informal admission.

Fabio:              Bit risky that, don’t you think? What if she changes her mind?

Adrian:            I think old Masky’s weighed it all up, and he’s gone for the less restrictive option.

Fabio:              But couldn’t he have gone with Home Treatment?

Adrian:            You’re forgetting – they’ve already tried Home Treatment and it didn’t work. So that only leaves informal admission, or detention under the Act.

Fabio:              Masky’s on the phone to the bed managers – and he’s smiling! It can only mean one thing! They’ve used a leave bed and got her into a local hospital.

Adrian:            That’s cause for celebration, all right!

Fabio:              Well, they think it’s all over – it is now!