So why did I become a social worker in the first place? It's the little, but significant, life experiences that plant the seeds of your future career.
Having been a social worker for approaching 45 years, now
that I’ve actually retired I’ve had time to think about what led me into social
work in the first place.
I have written in the Guardian in the past about what led
to my first social work post, and spoken about it here. It was almost
accidental. After all, children tend to have ideas about being doctors, or
nurses, or train drivers. For one thing, it is not generally a high visibility
profession, unless something goes wrong, and then social workers always seem to
be identified as the guilty parties.
But there were a couple of incidents in my adolescence,
long before I ever thought about becoming a social worker, that with hindsight first
planted the idea in my mind of being
able to help people and make some sort of difference to their lives.
The first incident was when I was 16, when I was still at
school studying for A Levels. The Post Office were wanting temporary assistant postmen
to cover the pre-Christmas period. I managed to get one of these jobs, to earn
some pocket money.
I was assigned to assist Bill, one of the permanent
postmen, on his round. This involved carrying a huge bag of post around a
housing estate, while he went here and there in his van.
But part of his round involved having to drive to more
remote houses. He stopped outside a rather dilapidated looking bungalow and
asked me to deliver a small bundle of what appeared to be Christmas Cards and a
couple of parcels. He said that he didn’t want to do it himself as the occupant
would keep him in conversation for hours.
I knocked on the door and after a while it opened. An
elderly and frail looking lady was standing there. I noticed that she had dried
food attached to the whiskers on her chin. The bungalow beyond was dirty and
ill cared for, with random piles of newspapers and cobwebs hanging from the
ceiling.
I gave her the cards and parcels.
She seemed desperately disappointed.
“Isn’t Bill delivering today? Such a nice man. We always
have such a nice chat.”
“No,” I replied. “He’s … busy, what with the Christmas
rush and everything.”
“Oh, well, never mind.” Her voice petered out, and she
closed the door.
I felt for the lady’s loneliness, and her disappointment
at not being able to have a conversation with the postman. How many people did
she see in a week? The experience haunted me.
Surely there must be services that could help someone
like her, I remember thinking.
The second incident was both different and similar.
I was 17 years old, and trying to be a hippy, with long
hair, a beard, bell bottomed jeans, and sandals. (Give me a break. This was the
early 1970’s.)
It was the summer, and I was hitch-hiking in England. I
don’t remember where I was going to. It may have been a pop festival. I had a
rucksack, and a sleeping bag, and was hoping for some sort of adventure.
A large Volvo stopped to give me a lift. When I got in, I
was surprised to see the driver was an immaculately dressed woman in her 40’s.
Women never usually stopped for a young male hitch-hiker who looked a bit like
a hippy.
I couldn’t help noticing that her face and bare arms were
covered in a blotchy rash.
We drove off. Looking straight ahead at the road, she
said, “I expect you’re wondering what’s wrong with my skin.”
She didn’t wait for a reply.
“It was my husband. The person I love most in my life. He
went to the doctor one day because of a pain in his head. The doctor sent him
for tests.
“My husband had a brain tumour. It was inoperable. Within
6 weeks he was dead.
“The funeral was 2 months ago.
“I thought I was doing fine. I thought I was managing.
But a couple of weeks later I woke up one morning and saw that my whole body
was covered in this rash.
“The doctor told me it was nothing to worry about. It was
a reaction to the stress.
“Nothing to worry about.
“I‘ve lost my husband, the love of my life.
“Nothing to worry about.”
She continued to tell about her life with her husband for
the rest of the journey. When it came time to drop me off, she looked at me and
said, “You don’t know who I am. I don’t know who you are. We’ll never see each
other again. Thank you.” She smiled for the first time during the trip.
Even though I was only a 17 year old self-absorbed teenager,
I realised that something significant had happened. She needed to tell someone
how she was feeling, someone she did not know, who was nothing to do with her
family or social circle, someone who would not judge her, who would not argue
with her, who would just listen. She just needed to talk.
So simply by being there in the car with her, I had
helped her in some way to come to terms with her bereavement.
I realised that making a difference to people might not
be so difficult after all. And it was oddly satisfying to realise I had helped
in some way.